Unless you’re an astronaut, successful careers very rarely proceed upward in a straight line.
Projects fail, sales and customers are lost, and jobs can change or disappear in an instant.
The challenge is how we pick ourselves up after these events, to come back stronger and more successful.
It’s tough. Setbacks knock our confidence, create limiting beliefs, and stop us from taking risks in the future, keeping us in the dreaded comfort zone where we stop growing and being challenged.
Here are 7 tips to help you recover:
1.) Setback?…step back.
Your initial instinct may be to dive immediately into something new. A job search or a new project. No one likes to sit and stew right?
Consider this though, when recovering from an injury, we don’t compete until we are 100% fit again. Do you want to be tackling something new with negative emotions driving you?
The risk is the “injury" will come across when you present yourself and the bad memories will cloud your normally sound judgment and decision making.
Take some time off to recover, even if only for a few days. Switch off and recharge.
2.) Accept and learn (and be accountable)
Holding onto any blame, grudges and bitterness will serve no purpose whatsoever.
Accept what’s happened and if applicable, be accountable for your mistakes. This is hard, but moving on means understanding what went wrong. What could you have done differently?
Writing is cathartic. Set a timer to 15 minutes. Write down all your thoughts and feelings on what you learnt. Then read it out (shout if you prefer!), and share it with someone, your mentor, coach or trusted friends. It’ll help.
3.) Focus on what went well
Same exercise again, 15 minutes.
We rarely focus on what went well after a setback. Our brain wants us to forget the whole episode, but this is an important exercise. It creates learning and builds confidence when planning the preparing for the next thing. Jot down everything that went well. What was the positive impact that you made? Again, share it with someone.
4.) Talk about it.
Did I mention sharing already?
Too often we want to brush setbacks under the carpet and don’t want to discuss it. When we have to, we have a signed off version of events in our head and a script we stick to. One that protects our ego and that we feel comfortable talking about.
Get uncomfortable to learn from your experience.
Work with a coach who will ask you the difficult questions, clarify your thoughts and feelings and help you grow from the experience.
Talking to the same 3 or 4 people close to you rarely offers new insight and often they inevitably end up telling you what you want to hear.
5.) Help someone else
Can your experience help someone else avoid a similar setback? Why not help them? There are many health benefits of helping others including lowering depression and anxiety and even addressing chronic pain.
6.) Destress
It’s possible that you could be in stress mode (setbacks do that). Focus on bringing your stress levels down so that you are in a positive frame of mind to move on and make decisions (we make mistakes when we’re stressed)
Healthy coping strategies like deep breathing, meditation and exercise are all great and the benefits are well documented.
Exercise especially, produces endorphins which are particularly good for lowering stress levels. So whether it’s running, cycling, team sports, walking the dog or cheese rolling, do something active!
Hobbies are also a wonderful way to help you to take your mind off a setback. Find something you care about, focus and put effort into it.
Again a skilled coach will be able to support you during times of stress.
7.) Sleep
Try to get minimum 7 hours a night if you have experienced a setback. Sleep is recovery and good quality sleep will help you process your thoughts and feelings and allow you to move on.
So if you’ve suffered a setback recently then try the 7 tips above. If you can think of any I've missed then please share it too. Remember, helping others is a good way to deal with a setback!
Do this and you’ll be ready and going back up in a straight line in no time!