A few months ago I wrote how to bounce back from a setback.
Whether it’s losing a sale (or a customer), a failed project, an event that didn’t get the results you expected, losing out at an interview or a job that went south, I recommended journaling everything that happened and writing down your thoughts and feelings.
Why did I do that?
Writing makes us feel better. It helps us get over stuff.
Crucially though, if we are to learn from our experiences, we need to record them accurately, and then document our ideas and learnings, so we remember to change our actions and behaviours for the next time we are in a similar situation.
So we hopefully don’t experience the same failure again!
A problem though, we simply can not trust this bit of mush in our skulls to remember everything!
Studies show that memory distortion is a real problem.
“Memories are, at best, sensory and emotional impressions blurred by imagination, belief, ambiguity, and time,” writes Dr Faith Byrne
So here are 3 questions which expand on the exercise of writing stuff down, that makes it even more useful for helping you to bounce back after a setback.
The 3 Whats
1.) What?
- Write down what happened
- What did you see or do?
- What was your reaction to it?
- What did other people do who were involved in this?
- Write a short analysis and description of the event.
Do this as soon after the event as possible!
2.) So what?
- How did you feel at the time of the event?
- Were those feelings you had any different from those of other people who were also involved at the time?
- Are your feelings now, after the event, any different from what you experienced at the time?
- What were the effects of what you did (or did not do)?
- What positive aspects now emerge from the event that happened?
- What have you noticed about your behaviour by taking a more measured look at it?
3.) Now what?
- What are the implications for you and others based on what you have described and analysed?
- What difference does it make if you choose to do nothing now?
- Where can you get more information and learning to face a similar situation again?
- How can you modify your actions and behaviours if a similar situation was to happen again?
- What help do you need to help you ‘action’ the results of your reflections?
- Which aspect should be tackled first?
Okay, so it’s slightly more than 3 simple “what” questions!
But these trigger questions are a useful guide on how to answer them.
If you get into the habit of doing this after every setback or failure you experience, the likelihood of repeating your mistakes and encountering the same problems are much slimmer.
You will learn and develop in your career faster.
Working with a coach on this will accelerate your development even quicker!
Consider this if you’ve recently encountered a setback and could benefit with some support to get you through it.