Although not all of us share his brutal, nightmarish vision of the world, Franz Kafka was right when he said "First Impressions are always unreliable”
How can you possibly judge someones true ability or competence based on a first meeting?
Yet it happens every day.
In many situations in our lives, we only get the one chance to present ourselves and make an impact to help us progress in our careers.
One job interview. One opportunity to pitch to a potential new client. One presentation to the whole company.
Whilst part 1 was focussed on the importance of visual and physical elements of making a great first impression, this part will focus on tips for verbal communication.
So you look smart, with a big warm smile, friendly eye contact and open positive body language.
But what about when you speak? It’s just talking, right? You've been doing this properly since you were 2, why is it something you need to focus on again now?
Great verbal communication is a skill and the best communicators are the most successful leaders.
You may have developed habits of communication which are no longer helpful, or you may need to work on your communication skills for the future, especially as we progress in our careers and lead and influence more people.
5 tips to help:
1.) Be aware of your tone and pace
Does your tone match the situation you’re in?
If you speak monotonously, it can come across as lacking in enthusiasm. Equally, if you go from being high pitched to low pitched frequently, it may come across as anxious or highly emotional.
Having emotion and energy is brilliant when trying to educate and inspire through a presentation, but probably not if you are meeting a team member to talk about a sensitive personal issue.
Pace has a similar effect. Speaking quickly usually comes across as being excited, but it’s important that your audience can keep up and follow what you are saying.
2.) Use pauses
Pauses are incredibly powerful. Yet are often ignored.
They allow you to control a conversation, add dramatic effect, hold onto an audience, plus give you time to gather your thoughts and prepare for what to say next.
They also give the other person space to think.
Use pauses to actively listen to your audience and you will come across as respectful and mature. It’s a brilliant communication tool.
3.) Watch your volume
How loud do you speak? How loud is your laugh?
Being too loud can be associated with being brash, cocky and lacking in self-awareness.
Conversely, being too quiet can make you come across as shy and not confident. People will not appreciate straining to hear you. If in doubt then increase your volume slightly.
Like pace and tone, It is important to match the volume to the situation you’re in.
4.) Check frequently used phrases
We have all been guilty of this at some point. Using phrases or words frequently without realising.
Sometimes it’s a phrase we like that we end up repeating often out of habit.
At other times it can be “filler" words. You might recognise “you know” or “right” as pretty common ones. Frequently used phrases can make us seem unimaginative, hesitant and less smart than we are.
The opposite is just as bad, people who try to be too clever and use complicated phrases or vocabulary to impress often end up alienating and disconnecting from the audience.
5.) Don’t speak negatively about yourself, others and your organisation.
This is where a lot of people fall down at job interviews, and often it’s combined with negative body language.
It’s easy to carry the frustration and unhappiness of being in a job we don’t like (or not having one) into meeting someone new. And when we talk about ourselves we may not realise we lack enthusiasm and are coming across like this.
Would you hire or buy a product or service from someone if you hear them talk negatively about their colleagues or company?
Great preparation and being aware of this can help. Sitting up straight or standing up with your shoulders pinned back and head up too. It’s very hard to feel and speak negatively while in this position.
Bringing it together
The world might feel more Kafka-esque than ever but clear concise positive communication wins every time and will ensure you make an outstanding first impression.
Be yourself, be honest, tell your stories, let your personality shine through and use these tips (and those from part 1) as a guide in preparation for meeting anyone new.
And always think of your audience. What do they want from meeting you?
Looking for support? Work with a coach, conduct a presentation audit to help you identify blind spots and areas you can improve. I can help.
Better communication means better leadership and greater success. It really is that simple.